… is being a mom.
I know, I know. All moms say this. I know my mom did. It’s the biggest cliche in the world. “A mother’s love is like no other.” I knew the truth of it, I knew my mom meant it. I knew all the other moms in my life meant it, but I didn’t really understand.
That is, until February 3rd, 2017. That was the day my daughter was born. I felt an array of feelings.
Love. Uncertainty. Anguish. Fear. Confusion. Curiosity. Exhaustion. Guilty.
I developed preeclampsia when I was in my third trimester. It went from the perfect pregnancy to the scariest. I went in for a routine doctor’s appointment on week 32 of my pregnancy and the medical staff found my blood pressure to be way too high, so they called me back in for observation. Eventually I was discharged after a few hours and told to stay on bed rest for a couple of days. Fast forward to my routine doctor’s appointment on week 33 and the same thing happened. I’m thinking okay, same thing, observation then bed rest.
I was admitted and told that I wouldn’t be passing week 34 and I would be delivering in the next few days. I was in shock. I was only 33 weeks. My baby would be a preemie. I’m having my blood taken every hour, my blood pressure every 15 minutes. It was a lot, and as I’m making sense of all of this, and the fact that I would be in a hospital for days on end, the nurse comes in to inform me my blood levels just weren’t looking right.
I would be delivering in a few hours. I would be having an emergency c-section. I would not be awake for the procedure because it wasn’t safe to get an epidural.
That’s how at risk I was. That’s how at risk my baby was.
My daughter was born via emergency c-section on February 3rd, 2017 at 11:36am. She was born 4lbs, 5oz, 16 inches long. She was due on March 21st, 2017. My daughter was seven weeks early.
I didn’t get to see my baby girl until the next day. For the first 24 hours of my child’s life, I wasn’t able to see her because she was in the NICU and I was in ICU. When I was finally transferred to the maternity ward and finally able to be wheeled to the NICU, I was feeling so many emotions and then I wasn’t at the same time.
The moment I finally got to hold my delicate little flower, it was the most intense moment of my life. She was so small, and yet she was so strong.
My daughter didn’t get to leave with me. She was discharged about a month later, give or take. Leaving her there was the hardest thing I had to do, but rain or shine, I went every single day. There was even a day that the forecast anticipated a terrible snowstorm and I was there at 4am. If I was going to get snowed in, it was going to be in the hospital with my little nugget.
Today, my daughter is an extremely happy, healthy and sassy 9-month-old. I am grateful that we were both saved. She’s everything I could’ve dreamed of in a child. More.
Moral of the story? Being a mother is the most exclusive job a woman can have. A mother’s love is like no other love. The cliches are all true. Appreciate your moms, man. The love they have for you is on another level.